Oct 7, 2007 you just brought yourself into the queer world of a weird medical student who thinks and acts strangely. nevertheless, this is her way of establishing rapport. whatever you see or read, leave it here. Posted by Ai on Sep 19, '10 5:53 AM for everyone Posted by Ai on Aug 21, '10 11:58 AM for everyone  | Category: | Books | | Genre: | Literature & Fiction | | Author: | Rick Riordan |
This is not the kind of book you want to read if you want an action-packed fiction. This is more highschool-ish, ka-level ng Twilight. Because it is based on Greek mythology, which for me is very interesting, it has no originality. It has a modern, hip, urban style heroic effects. Imagine Poseidon wearing beach shorts and floral printed shirts, or Ares in a rugged pants, leather jacket and a red bandanna on his head. Or, the wine god Dionysus telling you "Whatever". And this Percy kid who's a demigod, he's dyslexic and is having an ADHD. He doesn't impress me much. I'm already on the third book and I can see the same trend, one of Percy's friends is hold captive and he'd come to the rescue, he fights handful of monsters incorporated using Riptide and he'll triumph. Very predictable. But I'm reading it mostly because I want to know how this team of demigod teenagers fight Kronos in the end, and I'm waiting for some possible twists of the story along the way. Nothing beats The Lord of the Rings for an action-packed, heart racing, and mind boggling read.  Posted by Ai on Aug 21, '10 11:22 AM for everyone  | Category: | Computers & Electronics | | Product Type: | Cell-phones | | Manufacturer: | Nokia |
After four long years, I finally got a new phone!! Yay!! My plan was only to buy an iPod for my music cravings while on duty but I thought it'd be wiser to buy a phone which can store more music, videos and of course WiFi! I'm still using my old phone though coz for one, it hasn't worn out yet. It's functioning perfectly even with all those scratches and even if it has dropped approximately 100x already since I bought it. Second, I have no plans of using a new SIM because I hate copying numbers from one phone to another. And thirdly, I'm still in the process of getting to know a touch screen phone. LOL!! I'm still figuring out how I can store e-books in it. Anybody? Also, I'm thinking about buying a Smart SIM for family purposes. I like Nokia because of its user-friendly features which cater to a less techy person like me. Alhamdulillah for this new blessing. :D Posted by Ai on Jul 24, '10 4:34 AM for everyone Clerkship is tough like one has ever imagined. It is like going in a battle ground, thinking you’ve had all the vital weapons ready to swing your Excalibur and metal shield but you found yourself at the edge of a thick forest alone. Clueless of the kind of monstrous creature you’ll be fighting, and worse, no one’s there to back you up. You. Are. Entirely. Alone. I was never the kind of person who complains, but I believe there’s a maximum threshold for everything which includes patience. One can never be too patient. There’s always that maximal point where the pressure chamber burst unexpectedly. Other people outside our field look at us as future doctors, indeed we are, but at this point of our lives we are slaves-slash-doctors-in-the-making. We have plenty of bosses, starting from the consultants, residents, nurses, nursing aides, and sometimes even the IWs. Oh, not to mention the patients themselves and their watchers. I do not understand the kind of stigma attached to every clerk, all eyes are on us. We are being scrutinized from our physique down to the littlest of our gestures or even the minutest whispers uttered. A single mistake is unforgivable otherwise you’d be the talk of the hospital. Good if you’re being talked solely in your department, but expect the news to encroach in the other departments as well. So even before your next rotation, predators are waiting to prey on you. Just get ready. There are days when I do not know where to place myself, or how to act. You can never be outspoken, yet at the same time you can never be too kind. You can never ever be kind, predators have the tendency to become abusive. A mentor once shared his secret, he said: “When you’re a clerk, never say NO for an answer.” I hold on to that until one night when this amoebic predator repetitively calling me at the ER while I’m at the midst of a surgical job asking me to do something which do not belong to my scope that particular night, in fact that is her work and she’s being paid for that. So I answered the phone and talked in a very calm yet stiff sound: “Ay ma’am, naa man mi division of labor. Kung ER, ER ra ko. Dili ko pwede mag-ward karon kay daghan kaay pasyente gina-atiman nako diri. Naa man ako partner sa quarters. Palihog na lang ko adto, duol ra bitaw dira station. Kay dili jud mahimo na ibahin nako akong lawas. Isa ra biya ko ha…”. I have a hunch I was gossiped as “the clerk who did not refer blah blah’s chart to doctor blah blah”. Oh well, one cannot please everybody. I do not care what they say about me. Yes, now I can never care too much about feedbacks. I was never exhausted like this in my entire life---both physically, intellectually and spiritually. Clerkship requires physical strength to keep you on the go. Feeling ill is a huge no-no, vitamins are our bestfriends and antibiotics are our initial shields. We are also intellectually challenged; there are days when I ask myself where have all those three long years of reading and memorizing gone? It’s depressing when you cannot answer basic medical questions. You try to dig deep down your neurons and find tangled bits and pieces of unrecalled medical knowledge. You’re blessed if the consultant is the calm one who just smiles when you cannot answer and tells you the right thing. However there are unlucky days when you get to meet the evil consultants who throw insults at you and questions your intellectual capacity in the presence of nurses, nursing students and patients. You feel as if everybody's scoffing at you!! You just wanna die immediately right then and there!!! Like you wish you never existed!! Quitting is for the losers. And I am no loser; therefore, quitting is not an option. No damn way!!! As medical clerks, we console ourselves with the fact that no single doctor has had never undergone clerkship. We all have our fair share of stories and bloopers to tell. Maybe when we become consultants ourselves, we will look back at our mistakes and the craziness we did and laugh and shrug about it like it never happened. And it’s tempting to think about turning the table to our predators. *evil laugh* Posted by Ai on Jul 8, '10 7:37 AM for everyone we kinda drifted apart. but we have always known deep inside that we're perfectly stitched by nature for each other. we both became busy with our respective careers *cough*, yet we still keep on holding on.  he's a serious guy, you see.
and shy, too. that's why he doesn't want to publicize our relationship.
this was the time he tried to discreetly leave an event to meet up with me. however, paparazzi always follow him around. oh well, he's paying for his fame. tsk, tsk. poor boyfriend, nobody tries to spare him some privacy.
 anyhow, he still keeps that balance. between his career.....and our secret relationship.
oh, pretty boy. don't worry. there's no obstacle we can't hurdle. all of this shall pass.
end of daydreaming. *swoon* Posted by Ai on Jun 28, '10 8:17 AM for everyone Posted by Ai on May 25, '10 9:48 AM for everyone Caveat: This is an emo entry. Get yourself ready to puke!
I never had any problem being alone until today. I feel, um, not trashed but left out. That photo above is exactly how I picture myself. I thought I can live alone forever. I see a lot of people everyday but none of them fills this indescribable hole boring through me. This is crazy, I know, and this melancholy is leading nowhere. Gotta snap out of this.
***
Back to my medical world, we only have few remaining days in the surgery department. Next stop: OB-GYN. I'm prepping myself for that lochia stench. *wrinkles her nose*
Posted by Ai on May 21, '10 8:23 AM for everyone A nine-year old patient, C, is put on NPO (nothing per orem) after his appendectomy. Today is his fourth post-op day and since he has abdominal distention and has been passing loose bowel movements for the past two days, he's exhibiting mild dehydration despite being overweight (45 kilos for a nine-year old). And since he's been vomiting, a nasogastric tube is inserted through his nostrils in addition to being placed on NPO. We understand how discomforting it is for the patient. This morning, he begged Dr. D to allow him to have just one sip of water. "Okay naman ako, bakit ba ayaw niyo'kong painumin? Uhaw na uhaw na'ko. Please..konti lang..ganito lang kaliit" measuring the amount using his thumb and index finger. Dr. D explained to him in a way he can understand why he's not allowed to drink or eat and why the NGT is inserted through his nose. Having the heart of a father, he allowed C to have 1/4 glass of water after the child made a lot of bargains. "Sige, konti lang ha?". After he finished the 1/4 glass of water, he asked for another one. "Kayang-kaya ko yang ubusin, sige, pa-try niyo pa sa'kin". C seems to challenge Dr. D to allow him to have more water. Dr. D gave him another 1/4. C is just a naturally makulit kid which keeps him asking for more. This time, Dr. D strictly said NO. "Kapag magaling ka na, kahit isang barrel ng tubig pwede mong inumin. Ngayon, hindi pa pwede kasi magsusuka ka dahil hindi pa gumagalaw instestines mo.". I was astounded when he said "Sige na please. Isang baso lang. Bayaran pa kita..." Dr. D faced the parents for further explanation and didn't entertained the child's caprice.
It's frustrating how some parents continue feeding their children's whims. I hate making generalizations and I don't like acting like a psychic but children like C grows up with that attitude of getting everything they want through whatever means, even if it means stepping on other people. Teaching about sacrifice must start at home, same as charity. A child who knows how to make sacrifices grows up with a healthy attitude of enduring frustrations and whatever obstacles that come in his way. Because whoever we are, even though we are the richest person the world, we must face the fact that we just can't get anything and everything we want. After all, money may buy comfort but not happiness and love.
At C's age, he knows already about bribery. This child has a future... in the political world. :)
Posted by Ai on May 18, '10 8:06 AM for everyone Shenggay ranting while we were exchanging experiences with our counterpart group:
"Ano ba 'yan sila (referring to the patients), mag-inuman tapos magpatayan...
Kawawa naman tayong mga surgery clerks.."
Toinks!!
Akala mo naman kung ano ang kanyang concern. Hahahahah!!!
Seriously, she has a point, most of our previous patients at GTLMH would drown themselves in alcohol binge then when evil gets into their minds, they'd stab each other. Upon admission, they can't even afford to buy meds. You see? They can afford bottles of beers but they can't afford to buy food. And they call themselves poor. Who to blame? You may be the better judge.
I hope this incoming administration can do something to alleviate the status of our economy. I hope scenes like this would cease to happen. Para naman hindi kawawa ang mga surgery clerks. Hehe. :)
Posted by Ai on May 17, '10 8:58 AM for everyone When my teeth are itching to bite off some people's head, I:
a. write on my journal.
b. turn the radio on full blast and sing at the top of my lungs.
c. talk to a friend, whoever available to act as a shock absorber.
d. find someone or something who/that can make me laugh.
e. eat my comfort foods: pasta loaded with tons of cheese and chocolates.
f. immerse myself in the cyberspace and just click and click on whatever link I could reach.
g. because I rarely cry in front of anybody, I do it ALONE. and it happens once in a blue moon.
h. most of the time, my lips are sealed. because the moment I open my mouth, I can talk non-stop and that is what I try to prevent. :)
You, how do you let off some steam?
Posted by Ai on May 14, '10 8:02 AM for everyone In Hong Kong, because of the space, apartments are small and expensive. Gary Chang, an architect, decided to design a 344 sq. ft. apartment to be able to change into 24 different designs, all by just sliding panels and walls. He calls this the "Domestic Transformer."
This guy's a genius!! And that bookshelf is awesome!!
Posted by Ai on May 4, '10 10:57 AM for everyone Posted by Ai on Apr 25, '10 3:21 AM for everyone I thought of an evolution here in my blog which don't require me to transfer to another blogsite, I'm talking about Tumblr. (I LOVE YOU TOASTEDPEANUTS!!!) Since scarcity of time inhibits me to write like I used to, I'd rather bring Mumbo most of the time then took photos of moments I'd want to share. Although Mumbo is an oldie-ordinary point and shoot camera, he'll do. :) 1. My new room at my new boarding house!! My old room was a little bigger but the comfort this new one offers don't differ much. And oh, we got WiFi here!! Weehee!! The addiction feeding continues. Harhar!! My classmate and friend, Sal, is my new roomie and since her first rotation is Community Medicine, we don't see each other often here. So it kinda feels like I'm living in this room alone.  2. My groupmates. Group 4. We're divided into Group 4A (us) and Group 4B (the MSH pipz). We are (from left): Sheng, Ai, Tisoy, Jue, Oli, Abby, Ate Agnes and Jhalil. I'm with Jue, Tisoy and Sheng. I feel so blessed having the Group 4A. We don't mind the stress because we strongly believe that "LAUGHTER is the best medicine!!". :D  3. At the Clerks' Quarters. GTLMH quarters is like, I'm sorry to say this, a rat-hole. Sabi nga ng Dean, "The quarters is not for you to sleep, because you're not supposed to sleep when you're on duty". So we only come here to talk about stuff going around the hospital, laugh, share techniques, make case presentations, eat, and freshen up. A rat-hole doesn't matter when you're with a bunch of awesome people!!!!  4. The Emergency Room. This is the suturing area. Whatta bloody job!! I LOVE SURGERY!! ********  Photo taken at 2:15 AM, April 25, 2010. Despite everything, I keep that smile. Life is beautiful and I love what I'm doing. I'm getting there, I can see the glistening shore. :) Posted by Ai on Apr 25, '10 2:02 AM for everyone I got this from facebook, aside from the groovy tune and the words, the way the video is presented is really cool. :)
Posted by Ai on Apr 3, '10 12:00 AM for everyone I come across this book while going through my father's library. 
"We faced hard days and our share of failure, but I learned then that no matter how great the challenge or how difficult the circumstance, change is always possible if you're willing to work for it, and fight for it, and above all else, believe in it." -President Barack Hussein Obama Posted by Ai on Mar 29, '10 9:25 AM for everyone For the past months, I haven't yet settled my mind on who to vote this May 10 election. Since I am a first-time voter, I want my idealism to surface. A classmate asked me once why I didn't register in my hometown where apparently election-money flows freely. "Yayaman ka dun.." he told me. That's exactly the reason why I decided to register here in the current city where I'm located, I want to vote for those people I choose to be in the position because I strongly believe in their capacity to lead the country. Without any stain of hypocrisy, I honestly don't care about the money involved in politics. It's a temporary benefit knowing that the entire country will suffer if we don't put the right person on the right post. I have been carried away by the Cory magic that I thought Noynoy was the best choice. With Kris beside him, everything in the government will surely become transparent! After watching the V-Presidentiable debate on Harapan two weeks ago despite the unfolding of their dirty lenins in public and their personal attacks on each other, Mayor Jejomar Binay had a strong appeal on me. I'm having my personal research about the presidential candidates through the internet until I stumbled on this summarized attainments of the top presidential candidates.  oopsie..it looks like a magnifying lens is needed. for a clearer view, you may want it here. One thing for sure, now I know which block I am going to shade on May 10, 2010. :) Posted by Ai on Mar 28, '10 9:04 AM for everyone I consider myself lucky for having most things smooth sailing for me. For example is finding the perfect boarding house before I enroll for med school. A month before graduating from undergrad, I have already reserved the place and talked to my professor who owns the house. Luckily, my cousin Bains who was a medical clerk then (now a doctor) lives in the same house so I never had difficulty negotiating with the management and adjusting with my housemates. Unlike most of my non-Iliganon classmates who had a lot of complaints with their respective dorms, I never had one. This is an advantage of being a planner. Hehe. I never experienced hunting for that perfect house because this boarding house is just perfect for me. This was the exact picture in my mind of where I wanted to live when I am in med school---uncrowded, conducive for studying, spacious, a sense of privacy and no disputes with the landlord because in fairness to them, thay always assure us of our security and comfort. Most of my classmates are envious of my place especially when I mention how cheap our monthly rental considering the appliances I personally brought here and the WiFi. This place, for me, is heaven in hell. :)
Mid-last year, my landlord's daughter and her family moved in the duplex next door (where our landlord lives). They planned to talk to us about getting our place as they are settling here in Iligan for good. I didn't know about it until our landlady talked to me this afternoon. Her daughter and her husband (who are, by the way, doctors: husband is oncosurgeon and the wife is a pathologist) want some privacy with their two kids, but Ma'am wanted us to finish the entire school year before asking us to move out. She politely explained to me everything this afternoon and I totally understand her. Besides, this house was built not for commercial purpose but for their daughter when she was in med school. While she was away for her residency training, they decided to rent the place to help medical students like me who are looking for a comfortable and cheaper place. Now she's back to claim her place.
I was teary-eyed and in awe when my landlady was apologizing for her sad news. I really love this place and I had set my mind that the only time I will move out is when I finish my degree. I have difficulty resetting my mind, changing my plans and unlove what I have grown to love. Aside from that, clerkship's few days away and I have A LOT of accumulated things here. I hate moving from one place to another but the situation calls for it. Good thing, Ma'am has given me until mid-April to look for another place to stay for my last remaining year in med school. Besides, I won't be staying in the boarding house most of the time 'coz when clerkship starts we will be unofficially become boarders of the hospital.
House hunting will start tomorrow, I know I will not find a place as perfect as this but I hope I can find a place where there is comfort and peace of mind. :)
Posted by Ai on Mar 22, '10 12:18 PM for everyone Posted by Ai on Mar 22, '10 12:13 PM for everyone  | Category: | Books | | Genre: | Romance | | Author: | Haruki Murakami |
Excerpt:
I telephoned Midori. "I have to talk to you," I said. "I have a million things to talk to you about. A million things we have to talk about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning."
Midori responded with a long, long silence----the silence of all the misty rain in the world falling on all the new-mown lawns of the world. Forehead pressed against the glass, I shut my eyes and waited. At last, Midori's quiet voice broke the silence: "Where are you now?"
Where was I now?
Gripping the receiver, I raised my head and turned to see what lay beyond the telephone booth. Where was I now? I had no idea. .... Again and again, I called out for Midori from the dead center of this place that was no place.
***********
This is definitely an addition to my bests-list. This has opened my mind to the nature of equally loving two different persons of opposite characters, on how need can be misconstrued as love and how a beautiful friendship is transformed into love. I'm so overwhelmed by the story and the characters. Ito ang totoong "It's Complicated". :) Posted by Ai on Mar 17, '10 9:11 AM for everyone written at 4:30 pm; March 16, 2009; yesterday.
There'd be less bickering, less hurt feelings, less anger and a peaceful world if and only if people are: a.) responsible enough to work on the job that is due to them. one doesn't need to be reminded constantly of what he should do, application of a little common sense works.
b.) hold on to their words. come on the appointed time. if one can't, let it be known immediately. don't allow others to wait until their pupils turn white.
c.) considerate and sensitive of others surrounding them.
I am so disappointed today. My patience and tolerance level are alarmingly dropping!! If people are a lot like those I have mentioned, there'd be no wasted time and sleep-deprived persons like me and most importantly, things can be done efficiently. Grr!
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